I ROCK.....I REALLY REALLY DO

My first post of the day (I need to post my 'tackle' for this week) HAS to be about my shift last night. I was too tired to blog last night, cos as I got to work (early no less) there was a 9 cage delivery arriving.............yes, at 18:30 or there abouts, there was me, walking in to 9 cages and just me and Trish. So, being as insane as I am, I pulled in the cages and everything, and got stuck in at about 19:20. I knew I had about 2 1/2 hours so thought I'd see just how much I could do in that time. One of the cages was the cigarettes, so I simply handed them to Trish. Then I worked 5 cages completely. Not spotted, not just glanced at, actually worked. Admittedly I played it a little safe cos I didnt fancy having tons of backstock, so things only went out if I could get at least half of the case. But still, for one person to do that much is pretty damn good. This being said, I HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS. Its no wonder that people expect me to do so much, when I keep actually doing it, damnit. I think laziness might be in order this weekend........no wait, I'm working with Graeme........we can't seem to help working when we're on weekends together............D'oh. So I guess I'll just be lazy tonight, and enjoy my last day off till next Wednesday!!!!!!

Oh, and to add to the chaos of today, had to take the boy for his booster jabs today..............that was not a good idea!!!! He hates me because I didnt explain that injections meant someone would be "putting pointy things in me". Bless 'im!

Monday Madness

1. From: cassie:Dramas or comedies?

Both, Love either, depending on my mood and how much wine I have with me!!!!!!!

2. From: nutmegnine:Your neighbor has frequent noisy parties on nights before you need to get up early. Do you confront him directly, call the police, call your landlord, join in the debauchery, or seethe quietly and do nothing?

Seethe quietly, and then play loud music early in the morning when I know they have hangovers!!!!

3. From sherle:Are you more comfortable in big crowds or small groups?

Small groups as a preference, thou I manage quite well in large crowds too.

4. From zeno:Do you prefer Internet Explorer or Mozilla Firefox?

Maxthon actually, I love the tabs and just, well everything about it really!

5. From briar:They say you learn something new every day. What new thing did you learn today?

That every smile you fake has a price!




Monday Madness

Weekend off.......WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

The first, and most exciting thing to report is that IT IS MY WEEKEND OFF!!!!!!!! This, in actuality, means that I got up at 6:30 this morning, and was in Philip's car heading to Edward's football by about 8:40........but still, it is a weekend off. It also means that shortly I will be at my mothers, as Edward has been asking to see them all week, and its something to do that costs NOTHING.........NOTHING IS GOOD!!!!!!

The second piece of exciting news is something that I keep forgetting to tell anyone..........I HAVE LOST 1 AND 1/2 STONE IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY ME..........I am offically slimmer than I was at 18, so now I only have another 2 and a bit stone to go to get to my ideal weight...........how excited am I???!!! The only downside is the fact that none of my jeans fit and I had to steal a pair off my sister cos mine keep falling down (not as fun as it sounds, trust me!)

I actually think thats about it. I'm making an effort to keep my emotions off of here for now, cos quite frankly, there are some people who check this blog quite regularly, if only to hear how depressed I might be and then gloat............so I am definately denying them that satisfaction and getting on with things with.......wait for it........A SMILE ON MY FACE.



Daily LIfe

Thursday Thirteen #4

Thirteen Things I couldn't live without.


1. My son.

2. COFFEECOFFEECOFFEE!!!!!!!!!!

3. Chocolate.

4. My son.

5. Books.

6. My friends at work.

7. The few friends that have stood by my thru the last year.

8. My son (he crops up a lot!).

9. My collar ('tis a statement of part of my identity)

10. Sky TV.

11. Cuddles on a stormy night.

12. Thunder and lightening.

13. Being online (not that I've been doing that much lately.)

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!





Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants


Thursday Thirteen

Back, I think

ok, so you may have noticed the big-ass blogging hiatus. I just couldnt seem to get my head around blogging or anything else for that matter. HOWEVER.......I think that I should be able to manage the mindless task of putting details of my oh-so-boring life on here again, now that my emotions aren't overspilling into everything I try to say or do. Cos althougth I blog, I tend to wait until my emotions are under control before I do so, cos if they are under control I can talk about them without decending into my my hated state of snotty crying big mess. So I think I'll post a Thursday Thirteen and see how it goes from there!

An anniversary of sorts

I know that its been a little quiet on here of late. And here is why. This is a quote from my blog written on this day a year ago. The day that my husband moved out.

"Today is the big day.......I'm terrified.........Absolutely quaking in
my boots.........Whilst I KNOW deep down inside that I can do this, right now I
am panicking like mad..........He's still sleeping at the moment so I've decided
to leave him til he wakes.......Just that little more time to get my emotions
back under wrap before I have to face this."

So, I have been just a little reflective, as well as trying to sort out my own emotions, and things have been just a little crazy in my head. I've been floundering in chaos and confusion, all the while trying to keep a happy face on it all for both my son and the outside world. I haven't even been able to articulate my feelings with any sort of coherence to myself, let alone to others. I'm sure that people the world over have gone through what I am going through, but, as human nature dictates, it seems to me that I am all alone. And I know I'm not, but I also know that part of the problem I'm having right now is because I relied to heavily on others this time last year, when I should have been doing things myself. I've also been discovering a couple of things about myself, things that I'm not entirely proud of, and that is taking some adjusting to as well. It seems that I'm having to reassess every aspect of my life, every decsion I have made in the last 6 years, and every consequence of my actions. Its not a fun place in my head right now....But its getting better, it must be as I am able to actually load up the computer today.....Which is kinda new for this last couple of weeks. Also, I'm starting to make a couple of positive changes, as difficult as they may be.

So, I thought I would blog today, as today is a huge day for me, a big,scary, pit of tangled emotions, but also a huge day. And now I must away to chat to the neighbour's as if there is nothing going on and then to go into work and play pretend for a little longer.

Thursday Thirteen #3

heres one I made earlier.

Thirteen Things that make me smile



1Â…My son. If itdidn'tt lackoriginalityy, he'd be all 13 things!

2...Thee smell of an autumn morning.

3...Myy work mates. The best thing about the job is them really.

4...Bakingg bread.

5... Terry Pratchett's books!

6... (at this pointIi had to stop for a few minutes to think of other things!) My family.

7...Musicc that needs to be headbanged too!

8... 'A Town called Eureka'......Aa fantastically funny new series on Sky One.

9... A hot bath, a glass of good wine, a good book, scented candles and 3 hours of not needing to do anything but enjoy.

10... Special people who can coax a smile out of me no matter how down or crappy I feel.

11... My son.Welll he is the best thing in my life.

12...Cleaningg (its shameful I know!)

13...Thee first cup of coffee of the day.


Links to other Thursday thirteener's!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. Its easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



Thursday Thirteen

dont panic

i know this will set people worrying, they dont need to, but I wont be blogging for at least a couple of days. things seem to have gotten a touch too much, and i just dont have to mental capacity to blog as well, certainly not to be light and cheery. But i am ok, just very very 'bleugh'.

Monday Madness

Ok, I know my posts have been meme heavy lately......but in fairness, theres not much going on in my life lately, and certainly nothing exciting enough to share with the world.......so here's another meme!

Monday Madness

1. How do you eat an oreo cookie? (from tricia) Being remarkably English I can honesty say I have never eaten one!
2. How long does it take you to eat lunch? 7-8 minutes. If I actually remember to eat it!
3. Caffeine or decaf? CAFFEINE.......lots and lots of caffeine.
4. Chicken or beef? Chicken, cos its cheaper.
5. Pen or pencil? Whatever's closest or hasnt been stolen by the boy!
6. Autumn or spring? Autumn. My favourite season, crisp air, brisk winds, beautiful colours; whats not to love!
7. Baseball or basketball? Neither on account of them being sports.
8. 'Survivor' or 'The Amazing Race?' Again neither, I DETEST reality TV with a firey passion.
9. Come up with one question I can ask our Monday Madness participants in the weeks to come. In a crisis, are you calm or do you panic?

Monday Madness Meme

I knew I forgot to do something on Thursday!

Booking Through Thursday

1. Do you tend to read more books written by one gender over the other? There's a fair representation of both genders on my bookcase. I truely have no preference. As long as something is well written, I'll read it!


2. If so, which one? Men? Or women? Is this a deliberate choice? Or just something that kind of happened? ummmm.............all of my books are something that 'sort of happened', if I am attracted to a book or author, then I read it.


3. And (without wanting to get too personal), is this your gender? Unless I'm more confused than I thought, no!!!!!LOL

Thursday Thirteen, Edition #2

I always mention my addiction to books. I never fully explain the extent of my problem. So I thought that the books that I've read since the 1st of September would be a fantastic 'Thursday Thirteen' on account of the fact that I'm on my 13th book so far this month!!! I have a tendancy to read as many as books by the same author as I can which is why you will see the same authors in the list. I'd have written a list of my favourite authors, but that would have to be a list of 60 odd. I am an addict and I either need help or a life!

Thirteen Books I've read this month.

1…'A Game of Thrones' - by George R.R. Martin. Its the first in an epic series of fantasy books, all knights and honour and intrigue and politics. I was hooked on the first page and went on to also read...

2...'A Clash of Kings', Book two by George R.R. Martin.

3...'A Storm of Swords: Steel and Snow', Part ONE of book three!!!(George R.R. Martin again!)

4...'A Storm of Swords: Blood and Gold', Part TWO of book three!!!(and again with the George R.R Martin!)

5...(last one by George R.R. Martin!) 'A Feast for Crows', Book four!

6...'The Killing Floor' by Lee Child. Am loving the protaganist in his books, rough, manly, and addictive!

7...'Tripwire' by Lee Child.

8...'Echo Burning' by Lee Child.

9...'Going Postal' by Terry Pratchett. I LOVE this man, I want to be his stalker. His writing actualy makes me laugh out loud frequently.

10...'Priestess of the White' by Trudi Canavan. Having read her first trilogy last month, I had to read this!

11...'Shadowfall' by James Clemens. The next book in the series goes into print next month, so I wanted to recap on the first book!

12...'Proven Guilty' by Jim Butcher. I had to order this one from amazon as it doesn't come out in the UK til next year, but I've already read the others he's written.

13...'The Enemy' by Lee Child. But I'm only half way thru this one!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants




Thursday Thirteen Books

Monday Madness and Tackle it Tuesday!

Ok, so we'll start with the Monday madness, as it is still officially Monday.

I was instructed to wait in today between 8-6, for an engineer who would come and fit my pre-pay gas meter. Which I dutifully did, it gave me chance to do my Tackle it Tuesday project.

Then, at about 2:30 I decided to just double check what was going on with this blokey from the gas company. It would seem that they hadn't booked the job in properly. Now I have been raving about this company's incompetence for endless posts, cos they really are incompetent, but frankly, I booked this job 4 weeks ago, sorted out people to take my boy to school and so on, and THEY screwed up AGAIN, NOT ME!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR. I was NOT impressed!!!!!!

That's actually about it for Monday, as I DIDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!! So, on to

TACKLE IT TUESDAY

Project:Paperwork

As with last week I kinda bit off more than I wanted to chew. I THOUGHT that sorting out my paperwork would be a simple case of putting things into piles, until I realized that there were A LOT of phone calls I had to make to sort things out too. It was actually 3 hours worth of phone calls to official people. I started talking to my neighbours just to talk to humans! I have heard every single variation of Greensleves, and been on hold for a total of 50 minutes...........50 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!

So, here is what I started with...

You may notice that these yellow and black tubs feature heavily in my storage spaces, they are FABULOUS, they are the ones that fold down flat and hold a stupid amount of stuff, I LOVE THEM!!!

5 HOURS later, after phone calls, shredding, and much sticking on of labels I now have...

JUST ONE BINDER........YAY!!!!! Inside I have dividers, neatly labeled address labels that I picked up from work cos they were cheap, describing everything behind each divider, along with what action I have taken regarding whatever it is up to today's date. This then means that at a quick glance I can not only see what paperwork I have, but what still needs dealing with, what bills are unpaid, and what school notes/hospital appointments I need to book etc!!!!!!

I am so chuffed, mainly because now I can find everything, and tomorrow, I am heading to the CAB, (for anyone who isn't based in the UK, it is a fantastic free service run by volunteers who will negotiate repayment plans for your bills for you, give you debt management advice, legal advice, you name it) cos thou I'm not heavily in debt, I'm definitely feeling the pinch of dropping from a household of two full-time earners, to being a part-time worker who keeps losing benefits, and is currently on an income of less than £600 a month!!!!!

Also, I'm sick of eating baked beans on toast!

Happy Tackling to all Tacklers!!!

Daily Life Tackle it Tuesday

(insert appropriate title here as I can't think of one)

I have to admit that I am posting more out of boredom than anything else.

There is nothing on the telly, I need to take a little break from my book (thou it is stunning, but I think completing a 502 page book in a couple of hours just shows how dull my life is!)

I have to comment on my boy. I would add a picture of the most stunning injury that he has ever had, but he wouldn't stand still long enough for me! He had an 'incident' at school, his new teacher was terribly apologectic, obviously being totally unaware that my son thinks he's made of rubber, and will randomly throw himself into/onto/over things just to see if he can.

Anyway, the 'incident'...it would seem that my boy pi**ed some kid off, one who was bigger than him (so anyone in the school really) and got pushed over, onto a pile of Duplo, on his head. Only my son could do this, and end up with two neat Duplo bumps, from the top of the bricks, imprinted on his forehead for all to see. He had his forehead iced down, and in true Edward style he cried out..."Get off, I have to go and finish my hat!" The boy has NO concept of pain...unless he wants kisses. He's gonna be straight!

Thats about it really, unless everyone really wants to know about the endless piles of bills sat in my kitchen, or my various problems with my various lumps and bumps (its been a crazy day!)


Oh, and theres this I forgot to post earlier!

I've got an interview at "5 Minutes for Mom".

Have you been to 5 Minutes for Mom before? It's a moms blog run by two wahms who own a retro collectibles specialty store and a kids furniture and toy store. They love helping other work at home moms promote their businesses. So take a stop over at their blog and help support all mom blogs and mom sites.


Daily Life Parenthood 5 Minutes for Mom

Sorry I'm about an hour late!

Booking Through Thursday

1. We asked last week about what draws you to your favorite kind/genre of book. This week, we want to know--how often do you depart from that comfort zone? If you love mysteries, do you ever read fantasy? If you primarily read cookbooks, do you ever read a good romance? I will happily read anything that contains words! These days I've been reading everything from Terry Prachett to peoples blogs online. I just can't resist reading!


2. How MUCH variety is there in your reading? Do you mostly stick to one type, with just the occasional toe-dip into a different style? Or do you generally read a variety of things, just, maybe more of your favorite style than anything else? I tend to stick to one author at a time! Just lately I picked up a book by George R. R. Martin, loved it, so read the rest of the series thats out at the moment (A Song of Ice and Fire). If I'm attracted to an author, or a particular book seems to be telling me to buy it then it doesn't matter too much which genre it is. This being said, I own more Sci-Fi/fantasy books than anything else!

Thursday Thirteen

OK, so this is my first 'Thursday Thirteen'!!!!! I'm actually a little excited! I guess I should call it Edition #1 but I'm doing the one suggested for Edition #57!

So, 13 things I like about myself....thats actually far harder than it sounds but I'll give it a go!

Thirteen Things I like about myself



1…. My hair. I know it sounds odd but I do love my hair, its thick, full and annoying most of the time but I still love it!

2.... My sense of humour. I'll admit that it can be an aquired taste at times, but I find myself funny!!!!

3.... My dress sense. It might not always be fashionable, but I do look good most of the time!

4.... My ablity to make meals out of nearly empty cupboards. My son and I have had a few strange meals, but I always seem to manage to find something. (I truely don't know how!)

5.... My memory. Its not quite photographic but I do have crystal clear recall on the strangest things. I never really think about it but I just have the strangest things in my head!

6.... My addiction to books. There are far worse things I could have become addicted to at points in my life, I'm glad that it was books!!!!

7.... My son. Not something about myself, but a reflection of it. A happy, healthy, well-adjusted boy who is growing up too fast, and who's teachers told me that there was no change in his behaviour when his father left, which to me says I must be doing something right!

8.... My commitment to my family. It has never mattered how much they beat me down (metophorically!) I still love them and stand by them. This can only be a good thing.

9.... The fact that now I have the strength to not take whatever s**t is dished out to me (unless its from my parents!). Confiedence in oneself is a beautiful thing.

10.... That I am still naive enough to be surprised when people betray me.


11.... The 'twins'. I can't do a list about things I like about myself without added them!

12.... That I still write letters to my friends. Even the one's I have email addresses for!

13.... That I managed to actually write this. Its taken me the last 45 minutes!




Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Tracie

2. My two cents

3. caylynn (couldnt find a link!)

4. incog & nito (no link again)

5. Mommyba

6. Tink

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants





Daily Life Thursday Thirteen

TACKLE IT TUESDAY!!

As a first time 'tackler' I must admit it launched into this far to vigorously.....I really did......I thought I would simply sort out my bookcase



But to do that, I needed some tubs of books from one of my cupboards (which as you can see also needed 'tackling')



Then I tripped over my clean clothes and I saw where I was going to put those clothes




and nearly died when I saw the state I'd let my room get in. I'm only ever in there to sleep, so just lately it's ended up kinda neglected..........So I got stuck in.

I've always found it fascinating to look back at all the random 'stuff' that gets collected in a short space of time, even if I'm then going to put it in the bin, but really, I had an EXCESSIVE amount of stuff. For instance, I owned 21 sets of various nightwear........21........WHY?????

As I looked through them I realised that a few of them were from when I was 18 and still living at my parents...............I think I have a problem!!!!!!!

Then there was the 58 pairs of socks......I KID YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............58 seems just a little ridiculous, and some of them were only held together by a hope and a prayer!

Also, in my bedroom cupboards was a dis-mantled junior bed that my son hasn't slept in for at least the last 2 1/2 years, that one made it into the loft finally, and barely fit. So there was I, balancing on the top of a ladder, trying to wiggle the base of this bed into the loft and realising that I am also at the TOP OF THE STAIRS..............And singing along to my MP3 player and adding a lil jiggle or two..............I am officially crazy!

As I was cleaning, sorting and throwing out, I was also picking up things like lighters and pennies and popping them into my pocket...........this pic is actually of exactly what was in my pockets when the weight got so bad my jeans fell down all by themselves!!!!



Within my pockets I discovered I had picked up, 10 lighters, a screwdriver, some batteries and over £5 in loose change!

However, I persevered and here are the 'after pics'




All my clothes are now hung up, and the linen is all in the tubs on the top shelf.




This pic is not taken well, but it is of the other cupboard and you will notice the lack of plastic tubs!



Another not so good pic, but this is where the bookcase was.......unfortunately as I wentto move it into my empty cupboard...it fell apart!

And one of the 12 bags of rubbish, broken chest of drawers and box of broken toys I should have thrown out 3 months ago, cos this has to be seen to be believed.




Next week, I'm doing my paperwork, where I can sit all comfy and not have to do any heavy lifting or ladder climbing.

Any other visiting 'Tacklers', let me know and I shall make a list!

Daily Life Tackle it Tuesday

tired girlie

Damn I'm tired. But I know why.........

The 7am start this morning, trying to motivate the boy and convince him he needed to eat breakfast.

Doing an hour and a quarter of intensive cleaning for mum......you know its bad when you're working up a sweat!

Doing more than the same at home, then having the boy take 30 minutes to get home.

Going into work and discovering the 2 trolleys and bottom of a cage of milk to work, the best part of 4 bread trays, and 69 (yes 69) boxes of wine to work, plus the loose bottles. I have to admit that I only managed to face up a few bits......but I did get everything else done . The only issue now is that it hurts to walk.

Tonight, I am going to bed to rest up before I tackle something tomoro, not sure which part of the house to start with, cos theres SO much to do!

Back to school checklist

Find everything the boy could possibly need for school.
Discover the hiding place of the new school shoes.
Name EVERYTHING that could possibly get lost/stolen/eaten/hidden.
Locate child's 'secret hiding places' for PE bags, plimsoles, and other essential items.
Hem, wash, dry, iron all new school uniform.
Twist ankle trying to find school jumper that is inexplicably under the bed.
Name lunchbox, juice bottle, spoon.....or they never get seen again.
Make school lunch while resisting the urge to eat the Hula Hoops and KitKat
Collapse exhausted with coffee, light a cigarette and panic about what you could have forgotten
Dash upstairs and change EVERY alarm you can find whilst praying that they might possibly wake you in the morning

Thats it, I'm done for the night I reckon!!!!

Daily Life Parenting Back To School

OH THE CHAOS

I wanna take my ball and go home now please.

This weekend has been chaotic, crazy and full of madness.

Work has been crazy, I did loads of stock yesterday, and much supporting of B. I have no problem with this, cos on this one I do feel that she can do with the support. If she was in the wrong, I'd likely be the first to say something, most people know this about me (first hand for a lot of people). However, I'm definately on her side on this one.....which may seem strange as I've not been the most supportive of our new assistant manager up till now, but to be fair, she's doing alot better than she was just a few weeks ago.

On top of work I'm having fun turning up trousers by 3 inches, and name tagging everything, and finding everything for the back to school tomoro! I'm sooooooooooo excited! On the down side, it means I'm back to cleaning mums every morning, but never mind!

And then, my Aunty Sally was taken to casuality today. She's home and feeling a bit better now, but the Doc's aren't sure what the problem was/is, so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping like mad that she's ok.

I'm sure thats all the glamour and excitement in my life at the moment, with the exception of my new template. Regular readers (so, dave and graeme) will be more than aware that me and templates for this blog have been having an odd relationship lately (to say the least). I loved my last template, but commenting was complicated, and as I want to start doing things like 'Tackle it Tuesday' and 'Thursday Thirteen' commenting needs to be simple!!!!!!!!!!

And thats definately it. I have nothing more to say, and certainly nothing interesting!

Work Daily Life Chaos

PS

commenting ISNT working yet!

a quick note

I'm still playing with this template, so not everything works as yet..........give me time thou!!!! I'm trying to make commenting and so on easier, thou its proving harder than I hoped, I think I've looked at about 4,500 templates!

Busy girlie!

I have been busy today, but haven't actually done anything that I need to do!!!!

I've signed up with Blogrolling..........my links page is now completely up to date, and if anyone would like to be added to it, just let me know.

I've also signed up properly with 5 minutes for mom .....which is FABULOUS..........it is STUNNING, and I happily send any mothers that way!

Thats about it really, so now I have to tidy up like a maniac so that its at least presentable before my sitter gets here!

Random Musings.

Its after midnight, so allow me a little randomness, I have been short on it lately!

First, work wasnt too bad, there was more stock than there really should have been, but I managed to get it done, and even managed to make the store look reasonably pretty.......then walked on my freshly mopped floor........D'OH.

I have been doing a lot of 'blog surfing' lately, and there will soon be many new links on my page, but I have to mention a couple.......

5 minutes for mom. this one HAS to be mentioned as it is a great read, a fantastic resource for us mums, and funny too! They have a thing called 'Tackle it Tuesday' where everyone taking part chooses a part of their house that needs tackling and tackles it, including before and after photos.........so watch this space for frantic mastering of uploading photos to blogger (which hates me when I try to do it btw) in time to tackle something next Tuesday.

Technorati.

THIS IS FANTASTIC.....for those of you who use a blogger platform to create your blogs (sorry Dave, dont know how it would work for you).....I stumbled onto it, and found that it is basically a directory for the whole blogosphere. Imagine my surprise when I found my blog was already listed there, as is Graeme's, Adrian's, and probably loads of others that I wasnt bored enough to look for. You can 'claim your blog', see how many other blogs link to yours, who adds your blog in there posts etc, I had much fun on here, and it has links to practically anything you might want to find a blog or blog post about............I really recommend this one.

As for the others, I'll update my links page as soon as I get chance.

Thats about it folks, I would write something that would impact the world in some way, or spark some sort of huge philosphical debate but right now I am 1, too tired; 2, too self-absorbed (and unashamed to admit it!); and 3, well, I dont think THAT many people actually read this anyway!

A quickie!!!!!!!

So, a quick post, as I have to restore the trashed house before my sister babysits tonight, and work tonight (which could either be really good, or not as the case maybe, depending on how much gets done this afternoon).

For some reason, my body thought it was a good idea to stay up until 4am.......partly because I was really close to the end of my book (now I have to wait the best part of a year for the next one in the series) and partly because it hates me, and knew I had to be up early. So I get up at about 8 after the alarm went off forever, and tidied the house........which the boy then destroyed, I am sorely tempted to just not bother tidying until next week!

Then a full scale catastophe hit..........I RAN OUT OF TOILET ROLL.........this would never have happened when Phil lived here as he had some sort of fetish that involved buying about 200 rolls a month, but alas, with all the chaos, I managed to go to Tescos and still FORGOT...........................DAMNIT!!!!!!!!

And thats it, as my life is still rated a -7 on the 1-10 scale of dullness!

a quick break from my book!

so, I succumbed, I went to Graeme's blog and had to try out the Seasme Street quiz.....turns out I am....

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

YAY ME!!!!!!!

And today, I went carbooting with Em, followed by a spot of shopping in Christchurch................so tonight I am gonna spend some quiet time with my book, my MP3 player (I got new batteries today) and possibly some wine, if I can find any in the house!!!!!!!!

******I have just realised how to leave a comment on my blog ......when you click to add a comment, it'll take you back to the home screen.......click on 'blog' again, and scroll down, it should allow you to do it there........I think!!!!******************

OPPS.......I have new books

SO, its been a while since I've posted properly. There is a valid reason for this that is other than the absolute chaos that is the SUMMER HOLIDAYS (a punishment for parents I think) So other than the fact that the small boy has trashed my house, cost me money in the form of new uniform stuff and generally been a nightmare, and that is that I have 'found' a new author who I love. George R. R. Martin, who's first book in the series I'm currently reading was 800 pages long! Its a fantasy epic written in glorious detail, and I can barely tear myself away from it to have a bath (actually I just take it with me, and take it to town as well) I'm on the fourth book, and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who loves David Eddings, cos its a lot like his writing but on a far grander scale. So, thats all I have to write today, as I took the boy to town and acccidently bought myself a new jigsaw too (I know how sad that is, honest I do) and I must go read, so that once I'm done reading I can puzzle. Maybe something exciting will happen next week!!!!!!!

Oh, thou I should mention the tit-ish-ness of my fellow staff. One in particular was asking that the afternoon staff take some of the load off of the evening supervisors. This was a valid request, as there is a lot to do of an evening. HOWEVER, not only was the staff member in question unable to 'take some of my load off' when she worked in the afternoon the other day, but she also left me the stuff SHE had been asked to do, which I did, cos I always do pick up the slack, but I am mighty pissed off by it, to the point where I may have told someone to NEVER help her out by doing evening work in the afternoon

I think this might just be it!

AHHA.......I think that I have finally found my favourite template............i HOPE at least, cos I really cant be bothered to do anymore tonight at least!!!!!!

The tag board is now working........feel free to tag......PLEASE!!!!!!

Thats it for now I reckon!

tweaking the template still

ok folks, my apologies but I shall be messing about with the template again, for the next couple of days i reckon!!!!!! Feel free to comment on it as i go!!!!!

DAMNIT.......STILL TWEAKING

Am still tweaking this template, so there are a couple of things that arent working.....and i seem to have lost my archives somewhere!..........Commenting is enabled, but if you cant see the text, just hover your mouse just under where it says 'random ramblings' and it should show up. If theres something not wotking, then please leave a comment!!!!!

However, i do love this template, i think its very pretty!

I shall actually post a little later, but, am gonna have a play with templates, just to warn anyone who wanders in and realises that i actually let a monkey (possibly one of the ones that I'm sure hides in the stock room and messes up all my hard work) do my posting for me!

Return of the template

Ok, so I've returned to the original template......There is a reason for this, I have a big ass blog entry today and the other template just doesn't like them!!!!!!!

I began my day in a flurry of glasses hunting......Damn the boy, and then with a phone call from my mother that went something like this...Random chat, pointless noise, 'oh, let me chat to Edward.' now, being the good daughter I am I asked my son if he wanted to talk to granny.......Which he didn't.........However, this was apparently 'putting in a negative' (and what is that exactly? My mental pic involved a minus sign and my girl parts!). So on the second phone call, she asked to talk to him again, and I tried to hand him the phone.......It must be mentioned that he is 5, overtired, and not a morning person right now....His answer 'NO, I don't want to cos I hate her'.................Oh the shame.........This was something, that obviously I have trained him to say when I signal to him, being the trained seal that he is.................But never mind. Then there was some random 'Tizzie beating'.......Its the sport of the summer I'm telling ya! Then the debacle that was the CAB. I am not against the CAB, in fact, I think they do a wonderful and much needed job, and I donate whenever I can..............HOWEVER...............I went there, and saw a rather handsome young man (a miracle in itself), for an hour......And we sorted out a plan of action for dealing with Scottish Power, and away I went, happy that it was over............(another mistake of my day!).......I walk in the door, and there is a phone call, from the aforementioned handsome man, asking me to GO BACK IN........damnit, I barely had time to inhale my FIRST coffee of the day! But that's sorted out now, so I go to my mothers to do some cleaning, where she starts rattling on about my arrogance and generally having a beating session. It seems that I must speak in tongues or something, as when I said 'would you mind if I just pay attention to what I'm doing' and this is obviously code for 'I wont argue with what you are saying so feel free to follow around bitch-slapping me with my inadequacies' ARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Then, icing on the cake, I FOUND HIS GLASSES.......ON MY BED...........WHERE I PUT THEM THIS MORNING............I am a tit.

Wine is a beautiful beautiful thing and that is all I'm gonna say!

Someone pass the wine please...

Evenin' All!

I give up. The chaos is just never gonna end, so I am gonna do the only thing a girl in my position can do......put my feet up, pop a film on (possibly 'Shall We Dance' again) and have a nice glass of wine. Its the only option really!!

My boy decided that he wasnt gonna go to sleep till 11pm last night, which threw both our mornings off, mine cos I was tired, and his cos he strangely wasnt! Then I couldnt get a sitter for the boy, so had to phone work, thou I did get to explain some of the more crazy bits of the last couple of weeks, and then we did the normal trip to my Aunts. On our way back, the boy decided to declare that he (and i quote) 'didnt like the attitude i had on', and he was 'going to get his spider friends to eat me'. Have I mentioned how eagerly I am anticipating the return to school???????????????

So now, I am off to my wine and film, but before I disappear I must mention......every now and then, Graeme will send me an amusing text message, as he did today......the downside........I'm actually reading the text message, in a room by myself, and laughing like a crazy person.......this cant be a good thing!!!!!

too long absent girl!

D'oh, I have barely had time to scratch my arse this last few weeks, i dont remember school holidays being so chaotic!!!!!!!

So far this summer holiday, the boy has had 4 birthdays! (day with me, day with daddy and his family, day out at Longdown Dairy Farm and a day with my family!) i have had 3 fillings and 3 extractions at the dentist......who is a closet sadist judging by the way he removed 2 of those teeth last week in the same appointment. A woman remaked to her daughter as she walked past that i looked a little young to have had a stroke......i was rather unimpressed, and i'll say this now, if Botox feels anything like what the dentist did to me, then there is never gonna be a chance of me having it!!!!! and, as ever, the shop has been in chaos. By unspoken agreement, staff have decided to phonle me instead of the Assistant manager if they have a problem......in a word.......GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........this is one of the reasons i dont want to be assistant manager.....the phone calls. not only that, i've managed to lose £100 a month in Housing Benfit (along with the earlier loss of £120 from WFTC) simply because i was doing overtime! The chaos has not stopped, between the shop, my parents, the boy and everyone else, i've been going to bed after midnight, and getting up at about 6 just to have some space to sort out my paperwork for CAB, and to try to make my money stretch further. If anyone knows of a office job, 9-5 mon-fri, with a starting salary of at least £15,000 per annum within a 10 minute walk of the boys school, then please, i beg you, tell me!

CHECK OUT THE NEW BLOG!!!!!!!

so.......HOW COOL IS THIS TEMPLATE????????? Courtesy of Blogskins.com, it is STUNNING dont you think??????? I spent a couple of days tweaking it, and the tag board needs tweaking (default colour of txt is WHITE!) but other than that I think its up and running. Please let me know what you think!!!!!!!!

head rush going on

D'oh, I have a bit of a head rush going on from the first coffee and cigarette of the day!!!!

Yeaterday I had to take my boy to Southampton to get his eyes checked.....they're doing ok, don't need another check up for 3 months this time! (YAY). Then I had to take him to the Doctors, cos he's got an ear infection......luckily he isnt contagious so he's back to school today, but he does need er drops for a week.

Then, having accidently been awale for 36 hours, I passed out on the sofa at about 7, woke up at midnight, staggered upstairs and slept some more!!!!!!!

Today I am off to the dentists, I've managed to get one course of treatment on the NHS, so I'm going in to see what needs doing today, and hoping that my tax rebate com,es thru sometime soon, cos my WFTC has gone down by £3o a week.......the government is trying to see me starve I think!!!

Oh, and comment moderation is being turned on.......damn spammers!

D'OH, its 4:20am......why am I awake???

I think there must be something going on with the weather or the seasons or something.........we're nowhere near a Solsitce or anything I dont think, but for some reason that I cant think of I am completely awake, not even a tiny bit sleepy. I really hope that this doesnt mean that my body will try to survive on 3 hours sleep a night again.......I am really praying that this is a one off!!!

There's nothing on TV right now, and no books that I want to read, so I think I might go outside and watch the Sun rise, perhaps that might calm the craziness of me, if not, then coffee it is!!!!!!

ARGHHHHH..........(again!)

Am not that long home from work, just long enough to get some Calpol into the extremely hot boy, and for my feet to stop hurting!!!!!!!

Work was a NIGHTMARE. I got in at 7, expecting the delivery to be done (to be fair it arrived at 8:30).....and there was still one cage.........so I mistakenly thought that they must have had about 20 cages in or something..........not 8. Needless to say, this made my night quite chaotic. Trish took nearly £1000 on her till so I know we were busy, and I managed to clean the milk shelves, date check and clean cereal, bread and cakes, work the ice cream freezer, and the cage of stock......most of the store was faced up, and i mopped out the back as well as the shop floor, then customers walked all over the floor, so I actually gave up! I cant believe that we got so much done, but in the same breath, this is exactly what I need to stop doing. Every time I go in there and do that much, I show that I can achieve a lot on my shift, which means people leave more for me to do the next time. I'm sure that it wouldnt have been a huge problem if i hadn't done as much, but I felt guilty about not doing more. I take pride in my work and really do try to at least do what is expected of me, but I always seem to be doing more......damnit..........I MUST stop doing this!!!!!!!!!!!

'Laxing' girlie

you know how sometimes you just need to do something to relax? Some people would have a drink, others a joint, some would watch TV, some would listen to music..........not me however....

While up the shop today, I decided to splurge and buy some sausages, bacon and eggs. Once the boy was in bed, I was wound up so I did the only thing that I knew that would calm me down from the top of my head to the soles of my feet...........I BAKED........bread at that......then had hot crusty bread, with real butter, sausage, bacon, and egg.............. HEAVEN ON A PLATE.

Now I'm relaxed (to a degree, theres still enough going on deep in my head to make me just a little touchy...........*please note*.........this is kinda an understatement).......but there is something going on in my head which I am glad about. I'm finding my way back to me. This sounds like a good thing for just about anyone in my life.......actually, its not, cos me is less tolerant, more assertive, and less likely to 'shut up and put up'. Mum's already pissed at me for being alittle more like myself! The thing of it is, while I was with Phil I took a LOT of shit that I shouldn't have. For someone with a strong sense of self, I just rolled over and took it. I always PROMISED myself that I never would from anyone else.........not any of it...........I promised that if it looked like the past was repeating itself, even if it wasn't, then I would stand up for myself..................obviously, I actually ignored this pep talk to myself, as there have been many instances of taking things that I shouldn't, from all sorts of people in my life, friends, family, even my son's been getting away with murder!

So, please, if anyone thinks I'm putting up with things that I shouldn't........kick me up the ass........PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

D'oh, I cant think of a title!

The brain is not working as well as it should today................I'm putting it down to tiredness, I haven't been sleeping that well this week.

Yesterday was FABULOUS.....and I didn't do that much..........I just spent the day with my boy.....we didnt go out, or do anything that spectualar but we did get to spend time together, and he was so good for me, and it was just fantastic, one of my best days ever. Its been a while since we had such special time together, and I have really, really missed........however, I will say now, that about 2 weeks into the summer holidays I may be singing a completely different tune!!!!!

On the note of bloggage, it may be noticable to some that I'm only talking about stuff at the very surface of my mind.....there is a reason for this........usually, this would be a place for ranting and bitching, and I'd do it happily..........but in this case, with the events of earlier this week, this is an inappropiate medium for the thoughts in my head at the moment........they are a little too personal, and when repeating my own past mistakes, I'd rather keep them private......so only I know who much of an idiot I can be!

wired, wired, wired!!!!!

ARGHHH, I'm STILL buzzing from work. After all the chaos of the day, work was nice and relaxing (I know just how insane that sounds!). First off, Angie was allittle off with me, but we soon settled into a nice work routine. It was pretty busy, and my cleaning was HOUSEHOLD......which seemed to take forever, but I managed to get it done........I even managed to get the floor swept and mopped and most of the facing up done....it was a little patchy but then there were alot of things that Angie needed help with on the till, and then there was the new 'Dream Number' game on the lottery, which means you have to do something different whenever you put a ticket in, or do a lucy dip for the Lotto, which took us a while to work out as no-one had mentioned it! At the end of the night Angie even said that she had really enjoyed working with me, as I was really relaxed about everything, and left her with no pressure and just got on and did things.....which I considered a real compliment......I take pride in my work, and its nice to hear that people think I'm doing a good job (I just love ethe attention really!). And Sue and Melisa even brought me a piece of fish for dinner.....bless them so much. The only problem with all of this is that I am really wide awake, and its school and then CAB tomoro morning so I should really sleep!!!!!!!!!

The chaos, the UTTER chaos!!!!

OMG............sometimes I wonder what my life must look like to other people. Most days just potter along....doing mums, then whatever I need to do, lookng after the boy and working......it all seems pretty dull. Then you have a day like to today.

When I got to mums I realised that if I dont hoover then NO-ONE does....grrrrrr....I dont even LIVE there......but never mind.

Then I come home, and feeling hungry I went to cook myself a bowl of rice.....only to discover that.... MY GAS HAD BEEN CUT OFF. Now, me and the gas company have a history of problems. I try really hard not to actually name companies on here, even when I have a ligitamate complaint. But after all this today, I no longer care. Scottish Power supply my gas and electricity. I have been with them for 2 years, and in that time I have recieved a couple of electric bills (I have a key meter......esssentially 'pay-as-you-go electric) which are IMPOSSIBLE to run up as if I dont put money on my key then I dont have electric.....thats it and all about it, there's no room for manovure on this!!!!! But on the subject of the gas, they started by just sending me bills, with NO giro slips.........making it IMPOSSIBLE to pay them. So, I phone them and tell them about this, several times over 18 months. They seemed under the impression that I had the same sort of meter for my gas as for my leccy...............but as I told them, why would they let me run up a £200 bill on a pay as you go meter?????????? After finally recieving my first giro slip, I recieved another, for £850. They are firm in the belief that I was able to use 2000 units of gas in 5 WEEKS............baring in mind that my average consummtion is £150 a quarter then that would actually take me about 14 quaters to run up a bill like that, about 42 months, about 3 and a half YEARS.......NOT 5 WEEKS. So, I am disputing this, longly and loudly, infact I even got the national watchdog for energy providers involved....................cos the last straw was finding that they had cut my gas off, despite KNOWING that I am a single mum with a 4 yr old! ARGGGHHHHHHHHH. I spent an hour on the phone today sorting it all out..............so stressed after it all!!!!!!!!!! So, I have decided that I am gonna sit, and relax before work, and try to calm down after all of this.....then go into the monkey house I call work and see what chaos is happening there!!!!!!!

Marathon blogage

OK.......so, it's been a while since I blogged, but between the chaos at work and this stupid cold, which I can't shift, I haven't had much time to sit infront of the computer and actually type, while I haven't got a migraine, or temperature, or just general unwellness. Also, I have a new addiction........Veronica Mars ........think Buffy, but without the demons, and more private investiagation stuff. Tis very very good.

Work has been chaotic, what with 22 cage deliveries, staff calling in sick and new ASM's being trained.....thou Bee is getting on very very well, and both Saturday and Sunday were a giggle with both her and Graeme about.

A note on the song........its for a certain someone........I'm working tonight, which is possibly a good thing, as I'm rather cross and need to vent my anger somewhere!!!!!!!

its 2am and FAR too hot to sleep

damnit, I havent been awake at this time of night for a long long time!!!!!! I just cannot get to sleep in this heat, which means my mind has been busy being random so I thought I'd post some of my thoughts here...........mainly cos I'm bored!

I've just finished one of my many books. It's about the 7th or 8th time that I've read it, and I still don't tire of seeing words. Words, the written word in particular, are definately my passion (not disregarding my son of course) and have been since I learnt to read. I stunned the teachers at my school when I started, as on my first day there I completed the set reading for my year group, and have had a reading age of 16 (based on what the school tells you!) since i was 7. Books, papers, even leaflets if I am really bored, they all captivate and thrill me. A well written book will seduce me time and time again, and I'll still stay up far too late to just finish a book, one that I've already read time and time again. The only downside to this is that new books last me about a day! I do really wish that I could write as well as I read. One day I really hope to write something that could thrill others as other people have thrilled me. Written words are something that will alway get a reaction out of me, whether it be arousal, fear, sadness, joy......you get to go for a ride along with someone, experience their thoughts and feelings in everyway, and you dont always get to do that with your partner, yet you can depend on a book to give you that. When all else is going pear-shaped, I can always count on a book being there to soothe my senses and take me somewhere far from the struggles of life.

I guess I may even be able to sleep now, and if not, theres always coffee I guess!
Night all

opps, didn't mean to disappear

D'OH, I can't believe I dropped out of touch again........I dont mean to keep doing this, but then I get caught up in the chaos of having a four year old and the finances of a single mother!!!!!!!

I have been very philosphical lately, and meditating a lot, 'spring cleaning' my brain...........not that things in there are getting any clearer!!!!!! But its still nice to have the space and peace in my head for an hour or two at least.

Other than that I dont really have that much to blog......I havent been at work, so not much exciting has been going on. I spent Friday and Saturday on the phone to the bank and working families tax credit. The bank took a double payment out for my credit card, leaving my bank short for tomorrow's direct debit. So, I spend hours ringing them, and being put thru to all sorts of people, and they offer to refund the money........in 7 to 10 days..............what a help that would be!!!!!!!!!! Then WFTC...........they've billed me and Phil for an overpayment of £1530.57. There are a few problems with this thou.............problem one......at the time of this supposed overpayment, the working tax element (the bit that used to go in your pay packet) was going thru Phil's wages.......except we were'nt actually being paid it......AT ALL.......infact, the entire entilement was £3111, and I received NONE of it.........however, they only have my word for that right now, so I have to appeal the descion, and possibly get my son's father prosecuted in the process.........oh YAY! So, I spend 30 minutes on the phone to some guy from their reclaims department who says to me 'well, I can see from this that you only have £20 a month for housekeeping expenses (food, cleaning stuff, clothes etc) so we would like you to pay £10 a month.' D'OH. And the buggers gonna take 6 years to repay.......my £3000 loan is taking less than that, and if Phil doesn't pay his half then I am liable for it, and could face court over it, or I might just pay for it myself, just to avoid it!

On a more positive note, I took my son into town on Saturday morning, and he was A JOY........he was just stunningly behaved and generally fantastic.................and he had a moment that would have made Graeme and Adrian proud..........................we walked into Superdrug and he tried to get a basket (we were only going in for a packet of tissuses!) and he shouted....'but mum, I need to buy lots of girlie stuff!' He had every person in the first alsie in stitches!

Morning All

First a comment on the song........watched the film the other night and just had to post this song, as it made me smile, and thought that those of us with the 'Summertime Blues' could do with a smile!

Then, a small worship of Graeme................when I got into work last night, everything had been done! For what I think may have been the first shift that I have worked in a long time, I just had to do my own jobs.....which meant that I had time to sweep and mop out the back, and had done everything by 8!!!!!!!!! All I had to do between 8-10 was face up, so the store looked fabulous this morning, and Paul even swept and mopped the shop floor properly. The only downside of my shift was the fact that when I took my till off, I managed to drop it!!!!!!!!!

Other than that, my mother has my blood boiling, for far to many reasons to list here, and more than I want to go into...........thou I will mention that she had the audacity to ask if I do drugs. Does this woman KNOW me?????????

And on that happy note, I'm off to try and sort out the house, get ready for work, and generally try to bring order to chaos!!!!

I'm still alive I promise!!!

Damn, my life has been chaotic! I didnt even manage to sit infront of the computer yesterday!

Thursday, at work, was all ok, I worked the soft drinks, which involved working a cage of backstock, every case of backstock, and two shelves of loose drinks. It took me 2 hours, and I actually got out, 39 cases of stock........39...........dear god, I was knackered!!!! However, Phil and the boy had a fantastic time while I was busting my balls, and the boy got to have daddy put him to bed, which has always been a novelty!

Friday was chaos, I ran round like a demented chicken, panicking about this visit from Housing Benefit. Turns out I didnt need to panic quite so much, and they are only lowering my benefit a little for now, based on the fact that I have been paying tax on my wages that I shouldn't have been paying.

And today........today me and Ness managed to work three backstock cages from the delivery (I was crappy at work last night), the three normal backstock cages, all the alcohol (bar the wines........saving them for tomoro!), every soft drink in the store andevery sweet/chocolate in the store. As well as it being crazy on the tills..........really really crazy!

I also must comment on the complete randomness of my thoughts lately. Sue's niece finally had her baby, and has called her 'Keyanna Olivia Sara' which made me think about names. For example, I chose Edward for my boy, not just cos its a family name, but because he has a choice of name shortenings, as well as it being a name that he can have all his life without completely hating it! My actual name is Theresa, and I hate it.......when someone calls me by it, I immediately wonder what I've done wrong, and often I dont even register it as my name!!!! But then, if someone calls me Kira, Miss Kira, Pepper or Tizzie, I recognise that they are addressing me straight away. Then my thoughts went somewhere completely different......after my bath I was stood in the lounge, in my underwear and my high heels and dancing to Meatloaf and havign a fag...........damn, I'm a fetishist's dream!!!!!!!!!!

Too much time alone is not always a GOOD thing!!!!

Firstly my apologies to anyone who's been trying to get hold of me on MSN, I just haven't had time to get online, have been so busy doing the housework and getting sorted for the Housing Benefit home visit thing that I feel like I haven't stopped (thou I know I have)

I've spent most of the day by myself, I went and did mums, made the few phone calls that had to happen, and then other than picking up the boy, and seeing Aunty, have been alone.

This isn't as bad as it seems. Its occured to me today, that being alone is both good and bad....and for the same reason..........you have alot of time alone with your own thoughts. So, while I was racing round trying to make it look like humans and not monkeys live here, I was thinking, almost the whole time, about the future, or at least the parts of it pertaining to me and the boy. Everything from cementing his relationship with his father, to how much I want to be able to give him as he grows. To that end, I have managed to sort out his dad picking him up from school tomoro and having him while I'm at work, which he is so excited about that it actually makes me hurt. I know that Phil and I spliting up was exactly the right thing to do, and I dont entertain thoughts of being with him again, but the look of joy on my boy's face when I told him that daddy would pick him up was stunning, it just hurts cos its taken nearly 5 years of me constantly reinforcing things to him to make that look appear, and I hope that neither of them ever realise just how much I had to work to make sure that they had and have a relationship, but I am so glad that I did. Just lately access has gotten easier on them both, and they no longer need constant supervision, another area in my boys life where I need to take a step back.

Then my thoughts drifted off to the whole 'where am I gonna be in 10 years' thing. And heres the thing, the only thing that I really want out of my life for the foreseeable is my boys smile and laughter and tears and pain, all of it, thats all I want, to experience the wonder that is my son. I want to give him whatever I can, as much as I can, to be a good provider, but none of my goals or hopes are personally related to me and my life, but more him and where his life could go.

After all this reflection, I sat in my almost spotless sitting room, thinking about decorating, and friends, and watching 'Kinky Boots' again. Seems like an odd combination even to me!

I also worked out the reason for my blues. And really its a no-brainer, at least if you are sensible and look at a calaender. In 9 days, I would have known Phil for 6 years. In 36 days it will be 6 years since our first kiss, and 5 years since our son was born, 35 days, our third wedding anniversary, 44 days, our sixth anniversary and less than 3 months, six years since I moved in with him. And in less than 5 months it will be a year since we split. So, thou I'm not looking to get back with him or anything (thats really not what this is all about) I think I might be grieving, for the loss of the relationship that I thought would last forever. So, pardon my randomness, mood swings and fragility for just a little longer.

Sorry this is so long, it was only supposed to be a short post!!!!

Sorry bout the mood swings!

Well, I have to admit, maybe miracles do happen. After my generally 'bleugh' day yesterday, where I was just so disinterested in everything and generally p**set off, things did brighten up. I'm not quite sure how they did, but they did!!!!!

I got to spend time with my boy, not much, but some. We went back to mum and dads once he was home, and there he got given his first bike. I must say that I always wanted to be the one to get him his first bike, but, he was generously given one by one of his little friends and I did get to watch him ride around like a daredevil. My heart nearly jumped out when I told him to stop so he did........By leaping off of the still moving bike!!!!!!!!

Then I accidentally managed to fall asleep on the sofa, didn't wake up till 10:30, and then went straight up to bed......This could account for the brightness of my mood today.........About 12 hours sleep!!!!!

And today, well today, I did mums, then went to work. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it looked like nothing had been done after Graeme left on the promo end of things, actually, according to Sue, the supervisor was all cashed up and everything when Sue came into take over. This being said, when I left today, the promo ends were done, the dump bins were emptied, the wine was all worked (courtesy of Ness) and I managed to re-planagram the household (I thought it was just a simple one, not a change EVERYTHING one!) complete with SELS and everything, which I was actually really pleased with, cos it looked lovely once I had finished it. So, in theory, we are all ready for the delivery tomorrow, and I am really, really hoping its a small one, cos I am not looking forward to have to do delivery on top of normal evening jobs.

Oh, and I have to mention the strangest thing.................I was asked if I had a thing for Graeme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was just about the oddest thing I have ever been asked, cos I'm sure that people have realised that, well, he's gay! Not only that, but when did thinking that someone is fabulous turn into fancying them?????????? I have to say that I was actually speechless, I'm sorry Graeme, but you're just too, well, gay! But I do think you are fantastic, I am just puzzled how anyone could think it was anything else? Applying the same theory as the person who suggested it was, that would mean I also have a thing for......Kimmy, Amanda, Ness, Sue, Charlene, Ryan, Philip, Cat, Jo, Richard........Just about everyone I know actually........And even I'm not that indiscriminate!

defeated and broken today

am having a really depressy day today. Which bugs me actually as its my first Sunday off in forever, and at this point I'd rather be at work I think.

I was sick as a dog yesterday, shaky, throwing up, dizzy, and thou I did manage to get Edward sorted out to a degree, I wasn't at my best so my parents took over for me. I know that I screwed up. That it was my fault. I did try my best, but as I am well aware, thats not often good enough. As I had to put mum and dad out yesterday, I will be going over there later to spend a couple of hours repaying the time that I took from them yesterday. I had hoped to spend the day blitzing my housework as I have a Housing Benefit inspection on Friday, and what with work and Edward, and doing mums in the mornings, I just dont know when else I'm going to get the time to get it done. So today I'm very blue. And thought I'd ramble about it here, as I dont exactly have a wealth of friends I could phone and bitch to, and anyway, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. I have been told that the picture I paint of my mother to others (who exactly????) is less than flattering (again, who am I talking to exactly?????) so I'm not to do it...........not much of a change then, instead of just not having anyone I can just call, I'm not actually allowed to call them if I did.........YAY ME (!).

My apologies for the general 'bleugh-ness' of todays post........who knows, in the next few hours I may grow a backbone, or someone might realise that I'm actually 24, have moved out, and am actually doing quite well with everything.........but I aint holding my breath for the latter!

Randomness abound!

HEY ALL......seems I actually have actual people who visit this blog, people who arent my friends, but come here anyway........YAY.

Am feeling really really random today.........in a chaotic way, so thought I'd have a ramble on here while I potter about in my pretty pink (yes I DO own that colour) sundress (ok, I'll admit, I stole it off Kimmy......but I do look good!)

On the note of Kimmy, I was only expecting to see Amanda and Elise today, so imagine how thrilled I was when Kimmy, Skye and Katy came too!!!!!! For 45 hectic minutes I had 3 under 3's in my front room!!!!! Edward was apparently thrilled too.......I'm not too sure, as he was asleep when I got in (worships Manda for the peace and quiet!)

Work was actually fun...........thou, this may be because, for some reason, Graeme has the ability t0 make me giggle......like a girl..........which is probably a good thing, and it does make work fun. Also managed to get all bar 2 trolleys (one of soft drinks that would all go out and one of sweets) done, and only had to leave two extra cages of backstock.........which I consider a good thing as we go a lot of promo stuff in.

I also wanted to thank Steph from the MSN group I'm a member of for the pic at the top of this post........isnt it pretty?!!!!

And I think thats it, its been a chaotic day, but I can't quite pin down the reasons why!

Short on patience and loooooooooong on temper!!!

Again this post starts with an.........ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Once, I thought that working in a shop was easy.....Go in, do my job, go home again...............This weekend has changed my view of things. After the hassle of yesterday, First thing on the agenda this morning was finding out how James was, and whether he was coming in..............Turns out that while he was off work with his 'dodgy curry last night' excuse, he fell asleep in the sun (cos we all know that's where sick people go, to lie in the sun and sweat) and has sunburn, heatstroke, and his legs have swollen up.......Can anyone say HANGOVER?????

Then 'stupid boy' - one of the worst General Assistants I have ever had the displeasure to work with - phones up (well his mum does) she thinks that he ate something bad and has food poisoning...........Can I get a repeat on that HANGOVER.

There was also the small matter of receiving 4 cages of milk yesterday and another 3 today.......There is milk EVERYWHERE, as we only have a fridge out the back, certainly nowhere big enough for the 3 left over cages that there was this morning!

Then I spend my time trying to get hold of the evening supervisor who went AWOL last night, she wouldn't answer her phone, despite it ringing for 2 minutes each time I tried her.......Not only that, the gossip is that yesterday was her fellas birthday, which is why she didn't come in............Doesn't explain why she didn't tell anyone, especially as she was definitely aware that she was working!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR

So, Ness is working tonight, poor girl, I sent her home early in the end, at about 12, so that she can get her kids sorted out before she has to come back to work to do a 6-11, as there is no-one else to do it, thou it was a close call getting her to do it, as her hubby kicked, and then her mum.......You'd think she was trying to run off to the circus instead of cover a shift!!!!

On the plus side, we beat budget by £3007 this week.....Would have been more if we hadn't had to close at 9 last night........But how cool is that?! I don't admit it often, but I actually do love my job..........And love it when I can see how well we are doing as a store and so on, I just wish that some of the other staff would take pride in their store and their work.

And that's it, I haven't been home long enough for anything exciting to happen, and all I intend to do tonight is sleep after my sleeplessness night last night

Edited at 20:01 to add: Have to add this quickly........just phoned Ness at the shop to see how it was all going........and as I was on the phone to her who should stroll into to shop.........'stupid boy'.......got over that food poisoning real quick didnt he if he was able to come in a buy fags!!!!!!!GRRRRRRRRRRRR

DAMN PEOPLE

I've actually had quite a busy evening........

First I get a phone call from Ness........to see if I could go BACK to work..........we'll ignore the fact that I had only been home 2 hours at this point. The problem is that the evening supervisor didnt show........at all.........apart from when she popped over from the pub to buy fags this morning!!!! Poor Ness couldnt do it as her other half was out......I couldnt cos I couldnt get a sitter.........so I offered to come in early, but cant do that as I cant get hold of Philip to sort it out and see if he can pick the boy up at normal time.

Then I phoned Ness for a gossip......when she used to live 2 doors down, we'd speak at least every day, and spend hours on the phone........but we kinda dropped out of touch until I started working with her again........which is nice........cos I kinda think of her as a sister anyway, and have shared so much with her over the years, that its nice to get that back......we're even going to go out for a drink next week!

On the note of old friends, and shared secrets and laughter, I saw one of my closest friends this week. Ryan and I have always had the sort of friendship that doesnt matter how long you dont see each other for, you just seem to pick back up from where you left. And his friendship, like Nessie's, has always been something that I consider precious. So, when he popped into work to see me, and have a chat, and tell me how close he had moved to where I live I have to admit to being absolutely tickled pink that we are back in touch again.......................theres something about true friends that makes a body warm from the inside out.

I wanna take my ball and go home now please!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN I HURT!!!!!!!!!

I get to work this morning, to find that there is 11 cages, 8 of them still wrapped from yesterdays delivery to work, as well as all the normal Saturday jobs, it being World Cup game day and too too hot!!!!!

I lifted £3000 today, in six hours, which I think is fantastic considering that really we are only a small store.......but then I think about all that work and start to sweat!!!! Ness and I managed to get all bar 2 cages worked, 1 was backstock crisps and the other was sweets, so no great shakes for Sue and Melissa to do. And on top of all the work we had to do, James called in sick......so we lost a pair of hands too!

It's just really annoying that we go in there and really work hard.........I think 9 cages in 6 hours while also being on the till, doing lifts, dealing with customers and everything else is really good.............but then last night, all that was done was the stock Ness had spotted, nothing else was touched, no cages opened and worked or anything.................GRRRRRRRRRRR.....I'm sure that they realise I am in and think that I am a mug...........cos the people in the evenings the night before I work never really do much, yet by the time I leave, I've done my stuff and theirs! I should really stop doing this..........but I'm thinking that my surprise weekend off (thank you Graeme, I may have to worship you!) will make them realise that they need to do their work on a Friday night!!!!!!!!!!!

And thats it, as I hurt, my muscles ache, my knees been playing up all day and I need a bath (thou I dont know if I can get out after I get in) and to sleep like the dead before work tomoro!

Non-fun pain is.....well.......NON-FUN!!!!!

ARGGGGHHHHH.........I got up this morning and tried to walk down the stairs, only to find that this really woke me up as the pain was excrusating. Admittedly I do have arthritus in my knees, but its never been so bad that I have to bandage my knee just to go down the stairs on my bum!!!!!! Bless the boy thou, who got ready for school and went up and down the afore mentioned stairs (I'm sure they were invented by the devil I really am). I had to hobble to school, and I really don't understand why painkillers arent touching it.........and I'm not happy with it!!!!! Added to the PMT its just too much........I am definately short on patience and long on temper today!!!!

Work was a blast on Tuesday.......there was a whole lot of stock to work, which somehow takes a lot longer when you are trying to Supervise and get it done.......but it was done........the biggest problem I had was getting the facing up done.......it just didnt want to happen, so there were parts of the shop that looked great.......and parts that looked like they had been attacked by monkeys!!!!!!!! This being said, we left the shop at 11:05pm..........which, with a closing time of 11pm, I thought was very good............infact I turned to James and said 'there, thats how it should be done!'

And thats it, I was amazed again on Monday, watching my son in his swimming lesson, but then that always amazes me, as I'm terrified of the water, but he has no problems in the big pool, he just gets in and swims with his 'woggle'!! And I have made jars and jars of mint jelly with my Aunt.......we were amused as the date on all of these jars is 6/6/6.........which I thought was very good, as it is such a tempting recipe........made with apples instead of vinegar........sweet and nummy, and good on top of ice cream as well as with pork or lamb.

Randomly, I had this thought, I love eating and making jam and stuff, but I really couldnt make it just for me, as it just makes too much for me to eat and give away, so I'm thinking that it should be possible to make it for 'one' so to speak, a jam recipe that only makes 2-3 jars and not 15-20, so any ideas, please let me know!

the work of a shop girl is NEVER done......

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



I got into the shop at 9..........stupidly expecting things to be done, at least something to be done.........but.....alas, it was not so, James was still doing the HHT markdowns........he was STILL reducing stock.......and he had done NO facing up, NO cleaning, NO temp checks......infact, NOTHING else. Granted, he was kinda thrown in at the deep end......but still.....GRRRRRRRRR.

If truth be told, thou I really tried to get things sorted, there wasnt much that I could do. Some facing up got done..................the papers got done, sort of, thou there were no return slips for the Echos and NO STRING!!!!!!!

I feel really bad actually, cos I really wanted it to be nice for Graeme in the morning, and to prove that it could be done. I also hate leaving a job half done. But, I SHALL do better tomoro.........i pwomise.

Now, I'm f*****g hyper, and have the first day back at school tomoro and cant seem to wind down and ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I GIVE UP

SOMETIMES I HATE MY JOB

I was gonna leave posting til tonight, after I have gone back to work to lock-up (damn evening supervisors who have the audasity to be ill!) However, the crappiness of my job today has to be described. First, I spend 2 hours working the soft drinks (a cage of them from Fridays delivery)........there is only one reason for them to take that long......they havent been done properly since last weekend!!!!! Then I manage to get 75% of the crisps we have in stock on to the shop floor.........verdict.......see above re drinks!!!!!! Then, having emptied 3 cages, made the stock room look reasonabley tidy (it did look like we had monkeys living in there or something) I have the crappiest job I have had to do to date...............I was nominated milk tipper! This means that I got the rewarding job of emptying the whole 268 pints of sour milk down the drain............I SMELL SO BAD!!! Even I dont want to be in a room with me at the moment, and I cant have a bath til the boy is in bed (he keeps trying to help me shave......call me distrusting, but I doubt that the 4 yr old + sharp blades + my legs (or anywhere else for that matter) is a good mix!).

Today, something else occured to me. Ness works her arse off, she might not always do the best job, but then, with Graeme away this week, I realised why. Everyone chooses the week the manager is away to take the piss. Poor Ness has had a member of staff leave before her notice was up, another calling in sick, people being late, and people being lazy. Its as if they all think that as its just her, they dont have to work. I kinda feel sorry for her, it looks like she's done a bad job.......but she hasnt, its that the people who dont work for her, always seem to manage to work for Graeme. To a degree I can understand it, thou its not a mentality I personally subscribe to, but then, when I realised that if I dont go back tonight, then Ness will cycle up to the shop, spend an hour there to cycle back.........and she was more than prepared to........but I couldnt let her. She does try so hard.............bless her.

So, expect another post later........if only so that I can comment on the job James has done....Carols trained him.......which could mean that he doesnt know what facing up means !!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am sooooooo very very knackered. I think this might have something to do with the 8 cages that were left from yesterdays delivery. I cannot possibly express how pleasaed I am that last night was Carols last night!!!!!!!!! I havent stopped all day!!!!!!! Not only did she leave all the stock, she didnt put yesterdays milk away, which means its got to be wasted off..........50 x 4pts, 38 x 2pts and 18 x 1pts........thats a total of £89.68 she lost the shop with her laziness!!!!!!

Other than that, I am feeling an overwhelming urge to go out and sing karoke.........I have no idea why! But really, quite an urge going on............an urge to sing 'Hanky Panky' of all things.........i blame Graeme personally......something about the line 'i'll settle for the back of your hand somewhere on my behind' has just caught my imagination!!!!!!!!!!

randomly.....

you must try this

http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/peephole/index.asp

I got.........Tizzie spends weekends at the chubby-chaser nudist colony.

The world is going crazy.....

......or maybe its just this country!

Lately the Daily Mail has been highlighting what they are calling 'Health and Safety Killjoys'.......those pesky H&S laws that are just plain stupid. Todays one really got me started (read article) It deals with a woman who baked a man a cake for his 96th birthday......a home cooked, healthy cake with no additives, no added sugar and no junk..........however, she was not able to give it to him, as his daycare centre health and safety officer said that she couldnt let him have it as it hadnt come from a shop. And althou she knew what she had put in the cake and so on, she was not allowed to hand it to him. Now, it seems to me that this is quite possibly the daftest thing I have ever heard.............its a cake................I somehow doubt that it was laced with arsenic (thou I could be wrong I guess) So I was wondering...........has anyone else heard of anything that tops this???? Maybe I should create a blog just for things that are this ridiculous????????

I AM A FOOL!

I kid you not, I am truly stupid! I had the misguided impression that I could do mums this morning, then QUICKLY pop up to the opitions to get the boys glasses adjusted. Hmmmmmmmmm.......This seems a viable plan does it not?

Well, I get to mums at 10. I do the washing up and wash the floor while my sister watches me do it........And while I am also keeping tabs on the small child. So, having finished cleaning, and feeling like the hired help (which I guess I am in a way) I make the mistake of grabbing a quick cup of coffee. Then mum rings in to ask me to hang round till she gets back. So me and the boy don't even make it to town before 12. Then, the optitions is packed so we wait for about 30 minutes......not so bad cos my boy was excellently behaved. Then we decided to drop into Morrisons for lunch, as we havent really done anything special this week thats just for the two of us. My plan failed completely as we didnt get home till just now............13:50 to be exact.......ARGH, now I have so much to do!!!!!!!!!!

On the plus side thou, my boy has been STUNNING today, not one tantrum, or moment of misbehaving, it really boggles my mind sometimes, how grown up he can be. For a 4 yr old, he is sometimes far far far too mature.

10 things NOT to do during half term......

1. Realise that you dont have enough bin bags for the toys you are throwing away.

2. Run out of toilet wipes for the 4 yr old!

3. Visit your mother every day

4. Mistakenly think that as you are not working, they wont phone you

5. Make plans!

6. Try to pull off having a tidy house for more than 5 minutes

7. Show the 4 yr old how to put his 'Power rangers Dino Thunder' DVD on..........5 times a day!

8. Try to visit anyone other than your mother

9. Take the 4 yr old into town

and 10. Give up smoking!

Knackered Pwincess

UGH........got up this morning and did mums and then the bills......all good for a Thurday, infact had a lovely time with the boy. And then, for no explicible reason, I decided that today would be the day that I would go through and sort out all of the boys toys. Hmmmmm...........does anyone have any idea just how many toys a 4 yr old collects in their brief lifetime????? Enough that I am throwing out about 6 bin bags full, and he STILL has a full toy cupboard!!!! Add to that the fact that as this was his first Christmas with daddy not living here, everyone went overboard on the present buying, myself included, which means there was an awful lot to wade thru.........infact I actually piled it all up high, and it was still more than a king size bed can hold!!!!!!!!!!!

But I managed it, and now, am dusty, knackered, but pleased, cos for the first time in ages, my boy is upstairs, playing on his own, watching Narina on the telly (YAY......PEACE AND QUIET)!!!!!

Peacekeeper, I am not!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Went to mum's today, to do some cleaning for her.......(it does make sense, i do that, and she has the boy while I work on a Saturday) Her and my sister were having a row, mainly about the past and my sister being a brat really. I was trying my best, but really, everything I said or suggested, was wrong.........I told my sister that something wasnt up to her, as she doesnt own the house, and is only 15, that was wrong.........i suggested that possibly my mother could benefit from a counseller, someone who is completely removed from it all, just someone to talk to, not as a psychoanyliser or anything like that, just as someone just for her.........that was very very wrong. I give up!

And now, me and my boy are gonna do housework, which actually, we have fun doing, maybe because we've always done it together, or maybe because my boy is a neat freak!!!!!

OUCH

Ouch, I hurt after work!!!!!!!!

Managed to get all the stock out thou which can only be a good thing, also managed to book in the Echos and the frozen delivery while I was there. Bob was an utter nightmare, putting thru at least two transactions as cash instead of card.........meaning I had to refund them and arse about on the till when I could have been doing real work. Also, have heard thru the grapevine that he is talking about leaving........next week!!!!! And Carol thinks that she finishes on this Friday, having asked Ness about taking next week as holiday, and not actually checking that she would get it!!!!! I predict complete chaos at work next week!!!!!!!!!

And thats it, apart from the fact that I am having KEBAB for dinner tonight, for about the first time in 2 months........my mouth is watering already!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHH........THE CHAOS

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tell me WHY I thought it would be a good idea to argee to my mothers plan. As it stands, I do at least an hour of housework for her, and in exchange, she babysits for me while I am at work once a week. However, this week is half term, so I took the boy with me, ended up being there for 2 hours, and threw my whole day off. Infact, looking at it, I cannot see how I'm going to have any chance to do anything else this week, I wont have chance to get into town or anything. ARGH.........god forbid I should try to spend time with my son!!!!!!!!

So, now, I need to rush around like a headless chicken trying to get organised before I head to work (luckily Dave is having the boy today) and look forward to doing most of a delivery in 4 hours! (YAY ME).......thou, this being said, James is in this evening, so at least there will be something pretty to look at while I'm working!

Bow

Its 9:30 on Bank Holiday Monday, and so far I have managed to get the boy up, fed, bathed, dressed, and even spiked his hair, as well as getting myself fed, washed, dressed, hair washed and i've had 2 cups of coffee!!!!!!
I think people should bow, cos i know that i have no idea how i actually got it done!!!!!

New Blog

<sings> lalalalalalalalalala........i've got a new blog.

So I thought I'd start a new blog, one that I will possibly actually update far more frequently than I do my site at the moment <blushes>

So, right now, I am off to play with the settings and my profile and so on............be back here later I reckon!

Forgetful Pwincess

I cant believe i havent been blogging. Ok, admittedly, there hasnt been that much going on lately, but even so, i thought i had an addiction going on here.
I would write some witty anicdote, or something philosphically challenging but thou it galls me to say this, there is nothing in my head that is even remotely interesting right now. So, i'll just state the obvious and say that i archived April.