defeated and broken today

am having a really depressy day today. Which bugs me actually as its my first Sunday off in forever, and at this point I'd rather be at work I think.

I was sick as a dog yesterday, shaky, throwing up, dizzy, and thou I did manage to get Edward sorted out to a degree, I wasn't at my best so my parents took over for me. I know that I screwed up. That it was my fault. I did try my best, but as I am well aware, thats not often good enough. As I had to put mum and dad out yesterday, I will be going over there later to spend a couple of hours repaying the time that I took from them yesterday. I had hoped to spend the day blitzing my housework as I have a Housing Benefit inspection on Friday, and what with work and Edward, and doing mums in the mornings, I just dont know when else I'm going to get the time to get it done. So today I'm very blue. And thought I'd ramble about it here, as I dont exactly have a wealth of friends I could phone and bitch to, and anyway, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. I have been told that the picture I paint of my mother to others (who exactly????) is less than flattering (again, who am I talking to exactly?????) so I'm not to do it...........not much of a change then, instead of just not having anyone I can just call, I'm not actually allowed to call them if I did.........YAY ME (!).

My apologies for the general 'bleugh-ness' of todays post........who knows, in the next few hours I may grow a backbone, or someone might realise that I'm actually 24, have moved out, and am actually doing quite well with everything.........but I aint holding my breath for the latter!