Sunday, June 18, 2006

defeated and broken today

am having a really depressy day today. Which bugs me actually as its my first Sunday off in forever, and at this point I'd rather be at work I think.

I was sick as a dog yesterday, shaky, throwing up, dizzy, and thou I did manage to get Edward sorted out to a degree, I wasn't at my best so my parents took over for me. I know that I screwed up. That it was my fault. I did try my best, but as I am well aware, thats not often good enough. As I had to put mum and dad out yesterday, I will be going over there later to spend a couple of hours repaying the time that I took from them yesterday. I had hoped to spend the day blitzing my housework as I have a Housing Benefit inspection on Friday, and what with work and Edward, and doing mums in the mornings, I just dont know when else I'm going to get the time to get it done. So today I'm very blue. And thought I'd ramble about it here, as I dont exactly have a wealth of friends I could phone and bitch to, and anyway, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. I have been told that the picture I paint of my mother to others (who exactly????) is less than flattering (again, who am I talking to exactly?????) so I'm not to do it...........not much of a change then, instead of just not having anyone I can just call, I'm not actually allowed to call them if I did.........YAY ME (!).

My apologies for the general 'bleugh-ness' of todays post........who knows, in the next few hours I may grow a backbone, or someone might realise that I'm actually 24, have moved out, and am actually doing quite well with everything.........but I aint holding my breath for the latter!


Jack said...

You can always rant at me whenever you need to. I'm only ever a text or IM away.

This being said, I get the feeling I'm part of the problem, so equally, you can tell me to fade into the background if you need me to.

Graeme said...

See now, you're trying to make out you were ill saturday morning? But couldn't that have something to do with the fact you were out drinking all Friday night with Ness?!