Insert something clever or funny here...I'm too tired to think of anything!

I have had a beautiful day today. Because of the hours I work I only get 2 full days a fortnight to spend with my boy these days. Today was one of them. We started the day with a swimming lesson, which he loves, and I hate. I have a fear of swimming pools, I can't swim, and I hate the humid, horrid atmosphere in the pool area. So, as any good mother would, I went and watched my boy diving into the deep end of our local pool while sweating like a pig and freaking out incase he drowns. This is my least favourite part of my weekend with him! Then, all we did was come home and mong out with a DVD, and his crazy bones. It was the coolest Saturday I have had for a long while.

Tomorrow, we have a similar plan, unless its as nice as it was today...if the sun is shining then we are going out!!

That really is all my news...thou I did empty my loft and my shed...I'm excited by that, but I could see how no-one else would be!

LOVING the wireless

seriously...why have I never had wireless before???? I'm loving being sat on my bed and online too. Admittedly I have to take the puta back downstairs in a minute to do more cleaning...but still...very cool to have wireless. My next project will be going online on Animal Crossing...cos I love that game and the kids accidently deleted my years worth of playing...I need to steal some fish and bugs!!

Other than that I am not quite sure why I'm blogging...I've had such a dull day...I got up, went to work, came home, and started the housework. That's it. I still need to get a life....can you buy them these days??? Oh well, if something exciting does happen I'll just have to blog again!

Check the new rockin' blog!

Its been a while since I revamped my blog, so it was one of the things that ended up on the list of things I wanted to do as soon as I got back online.

While revamping, and hanging around, I realised how funny and interesting I used to be...now I just work too much! But this will change...I am determined to blog more, and start TTing again, and my Tackle it Tuesdays...cos frankly my house could do with it!

For now, I'm just gonna go and actually do some housework now, cos I've been on here for far too long...or maybe I'll surf for cool widgets!

It's been a busy 6 weeks!

I guess that several people may have noticed my absence from blogging. You see, I've had so much going on in my life I haven't had time to stop and think about things properly.

A quick overview goes like this...

I failed my driving test (D'OH)
My mother GAVE me her car
My boy turned 6
My best friend got married
I went to Rubyz!!!!!
I went to an Ann Summers party and spent £50 (this purchase is both bigger and better than my last one!)
I baked FIVE cakes for Amy's wedding
I dressed LIKE A GIRL
I painted half of my front room
I bulit my son's toy chests and cabin bed
I've gotten hooked on L. A. BAnks' books

And thats just the little bits!!!

I am just going to have to blog more, I promise to try, this time last year I was blogging nearly every day!!!!

I should blog more

I know I should. To be fair I have been busy, busy, busy, and not with anything remotely interesting, but I should make the time to blog...

The thing is, I think of all these things that I should be blogging about, all these interesting, witty, intelligent things. Then I get home, sit down, and my brain just stutters a little and dies. Then I pop my headphones in and dance around a little...then I play Animal Crossing for a couple of hours and sleep like the dead. Thats it, thats my life.

Does anyone want it????

Seriously, although my boy brings me more joy than anything ever could, I still have a 5 year old. And he's very 5 at the moment. Work, which is something that I do well most of the time, is also a soul-sucking hell hole that makes me want to cry sometimes. My alone time, whist precious and important, is a bit too much just lately. I mean, its one thing to spend some time alone, and another to spend a minimum of 10 hours a day, 7 days a week on my own. And thats all I have in my life. WOOHOO...Please find said life on ebay, all bids welcome!!!!

In other news...nothing...I mean...NOTHING.

I NEED HELP, or a hobby, all suggestions will be gladly recieved.

New days, new thoughts, new hall paint.

Perspective is a beautiful, healing thing. It truely is.

I have my own special brand of crazy, and I freely admit it, so this post might not make much sense to anyone who thinks I'm normal. (consider yourself warned if my insane logic frys your brain!)

I've painted my hallway. This in turn means I'm sorting my shit out.

Early last week, I was in a bad place. I really was. People who I love, who I loved and who I put so much of myself into helping, admitted that they had made mistakes with me, but that they had learned from them, and wouldnt make them with anyone else. WTF??? Who says things like this to other humans. Who sits there and acknowledges how much of yourself you gave to sort them out, but they had to fuck you up to get to where they need to be. Unfortunately, this is a reaccuring pattern with far too many people in my life. This is why I have made new friends this year, why I've started getting harder, become less forgiving, and started putting myself before my friends. Some people in my life did not deserve what I did to help them thru. If they had understood what I had done for them they would never have betrayed me like they have. Thats not all. I'm not often a nice person, but anyone who knows me knows that I will move heaven and earth to make things right for others. And I still will. I always will cos its the way I'm made. But there are a few differences here and there now.

Anyway, back to the painting thing, cos it is a huge issue. I moved in here 3 and 1/2 years ago. In all that time the only walls that have been painted are my bedroom ones. Which was a good thing and needed at the time. So in all this time, all this chaos that has happened within these four walls, all the tears and rows and anger, all the heartbreak and pain, and the place is still as it was when Phil and I moved in, happy, married and in love. So painting, a big thing. Add to that the fact that I have never painted a room, or a wall, all by myself, on my own, for me. I'm busy building my home. Making it mine. And in the process I am sorting my shit out. As my home is coming together so am I. I really want to be sorted out now. I have things I want to do, and I can't do them because I'm so busy feeling sorry for myself, being down on myself, and believing what others think of me. I'm trying to repair the damage thats been done to me, by myself and by others, cos my son deserves a mother who's in the best possible place, and everyone else derserves to see the pieces of me that I hide. The pieces of me that I don't trust people with cos I dont think they need to deal with my shit...cos if I'm dealing with theirs, they can damn well do the same for me.

Ok, ramble over, I think. And who knows, maybe I'll start posting more now!

POST NUMBER 150!!!

Ok, so its not that big!

But you see, I've been blogging for a couple of years now, and for a year on this platform. I know I dont blog as often as some people would like, but even so, I don't know what I'd do without blogging as a way of releasing at least some of my stress!!!

I had intended to write something topical, or at the very least something intelligent, but then, upon seeing that I was about to write my 150th post, I decided not to, cos really, I'm intellectially challenged at the moment. Its not that I can't do, its that I can't be bothered to!!! I see no reason to start discussing things as if my opinion matters, cos in the grand scheme of things it really doesnt. I might have an earth shattering idea that could affect the fortunes of the masses, but in reality, would i recognise it if i did? And who would listen to me if I recognised it?? So this is a fluff piece, simply to celebrate that I have persisted in keeping a blog even if no-one reads it, or I have nothing to say (which happens far too often for someone who enjoys talking as much as me!).

Now I'm off to read a little, cross-stitch a little and have more coffee....the excitement is unbearable...truely it is!

The BIG-ASS post I promised!!!!

Here comes the post I promised to make up for my lack of posting so far this year. I was horrified when I realized how little I've been posting...I used to post every day...what has happened to me?!?!?!?!?! I will add a disclamer right here at the start...I'm drinking Lambrini Pink Champange. I'm not usually a fan of the cheap wine, but theres something a little addictive about it, and its PINK!!!!!

So, we'll start with Saturday, as thats the first day that something even remotely exciting happened!!!! I WENT OUT!!!! Honest I did, I am not lying, and the proof can be found over at Graeme's blog (I can't be bothered to post pic's, I'm sorry). It was Rachel and Leighton's wedding, and the reception was beautiful. Rachel's dress was glorious and Leighton looked so happy he could have burst! I wish them all the best for the future. It was also fun to go out with the guys from work...we NEVER do anything together except whinge about work!!

Sunday I spent sleeping, cos I was a tad hungover, and the boy got up at 5:30 AM!!!!!!

Monday...I spent SHOPPING. I mean REALLY SHOPPING. I spent almost as much as I make in a month!!!! I bought CD's, books, toys for the boys, clothes for the boy, a new cat-o'-nine-tails (pic's to come of that!), Thortons chocolates and some other random stuff. I now have a healthy respect for the effectiveness of retail therapy...I felt SO very good after shopping for 5 HOURS.

Tuesday I had a driving lesson and drove to Southampton for the first time in 7 years. I didnt do too badly all things considered, and I have the most AWESOME driving instructor in the world...we stopped for a fag break!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday I built a chest. It was all pre-cut wood so I just had to put it together but even so, I was chuffed with it!! And now its sat in my room, under my window, full of my Wicca supplies and reference books. It also acts as an altar, which has made my month. Its so fulfilling to be able to worship at an altar designed specifically for that purpose, even more so as I constructed it myself. The connection I feel to the Deities has easily doubled, which is probably why I'm feeling so much better.

Yesterday I did town with Amy, which was fun, thou I was paying bills!!!!

Today I did NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats about all my news for now. Tonight I have a night of wine, reading and Supernatural planned.

Oh, and I forgot to mention my new sheets. They may only be polyester satin, but beggers can't be choosers, and I have gold and black slippy-slide-y sheets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M BACK ONLINE.....WOOHOO

This year has been the absolute worst for my internet connection and I. First I am disconnected by my phone company, then by my ISP. This time however was far more hassle and worry. I went to plug my MP3 player in to change my play list and the computer kept telling me that I was overloading my USB ports. WTF?? My MP3 player is ancient and has about as much juice as a snail covered in salt. It is in no way powerful enough to take on the lappy. Not in a fair fight at least! As I was panicking that I had broken the lappy and was doomed to have an empty MP3 player...I looked and saw...THE FRAYED ELECTRICAL LEAD ON MY MODEM. D'OH. Okay, so that's not what I actually said when I realized the possible outcomes of fire, electric shocks admistered to my son and so on! So my wonderful mother went out and grabbed me a modem to replace it while I was at work. Which I loved her for. That was until I set it up and realized that I had to phone my ISP and configure the damn thing.........and because I am essentially lazy, this took a couple of days. But I am online now, and have SO much to blog, but its also bed time...so I'll do it tomorrow...possibly with pictures!!!!!!!!

Night all!

Some random for you, cos it's all I got!

Some random things...

Check out my blog roll. I have added a bunch of new (well new to me) and totally awesome blogs. I went to vote for Crystal at the Blogger Choice Awards (in the best humour catergory...go vote, now, the rest of my post can wait!) and have spent most of the day floating around the blog-o-sphere laughing my arse off, on my own, in an empty house. I am a crazy person.

Just a few moments ago, I walked into my lounge. To find my son...WEARING. MY. NEW. KNEE. HIGH. BOOTS. I shit you not. He was stood in front of the telly wearing these black boots with a 3.5 inch heel that came up to the tops of his thighs. It took a minute or two for me to work out what was going on, but once I did I did the only thing a caring and considerate mother could do...TOOK PICTURES ON MY PHONE AND MESSAGED THEM TO MY FRIENDS. I'm also heading to town for a Dongle (I love that word) just so I can transfer the aforementioned pic's onto the puta!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to feel really guilty that I let Graeme down for work tonight. But, to be fair, the stir fry ingredients, slice of chocolate cheesecake, bottle of wine and dyeing my hair that I have planned for tonight are preventing this. Lets be honest, a choice between wine and work? It's no choice at all!!!!!

I have a new phone. Same number, cos I'm too lazy to ring people with the new one (and I've only just learned this one!) but a pretty, pretty Nokia 6111 in pink. I have new technology!!!

I also have Animal Crossing for Nitendo DS. This is why I'm never online anymore. I have toys to play with...including this which is on its way! (******PLEASE NOTE: this link takes you to Ann Summers. If you are easily offended or a prude, just don't click it. If you do you can't say you weren't warned. I'm a nympho, I accept it, you should too!******)

I think thats it so far. But then, I haven't opened the wine yet, so there may be more posting later, perhaps with pic's of the new hair.

I am an inconsiderate blogger!

I am and I admit it. Its just that I haven't really had that much to say just lately. I work, I sleep, I eat and I play with the boy. And thats it right now.

So, in an effort to just have SOMETHING in my life, I am pampering myself tonight, then breaking in my new boots, and watching Serentiy. I know, I know, I cant stand the excitement!!!!!!!

I will try to update more I promise. I just need SOMETHING to happen in my life...thou I did make a purchase from Ann Summers last night, so I might not be around for a few weeks!

Graeme's Holiday...Day''s Two and Three

The only problem with working every day is that I'm so tired!! Because I'm finishing at 5:30pm, it means that my friends are popping over for coffee an awful lot...I don't mind, infact I'll go so far as to say I enjoy it, but it does leave me hyped up for the rest of the night!! Never mind!!!

So anyway, in shop based news...

I did the double banking...s**tting myself the whole time!

I did the Easter Card uplift.

Sue from Millbrook popped in and sorted something out to do with declaring the coupons that I just could not sort out.

Once I've done my PI's today (2 of 'em) then they are done for the week.

Once Babs and Martha have done their bits this morning, all the stock is worked ready for tomoro's delivery...even the big silver cages.

The Easter stock uplift is being dealt with today as well, and thats all that I really have left to do.

I'm both shocked and surprised!!!

ok, thats it for now. I promise to have non-work related posts next week!!!

Graeme's Holiday...Day ONE

ok, so its the first offical day of Graeme's holiday.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Actually, it hasnt been that bad. I went in yesterday and did a bunch of paperwork and stuff, so today went pretty well.

I counted the money. I will never again be able to touch that much money. And I had to put it all back *pouts*.

6 of the 8 PI's for this week are done...just Alcopops/Beer and tins to do.

Summer toys are booked in and on display. It took me AND Mel to actually build the stand *blushes*.

Event stands are cleared and ready for 1/2 price Easter Eggs in the morning, and the promo ends are nearly done.

I am tired.

I know that no-one really wants to know about all this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Graeme may pop here, so it just keeps him informed of whats going on!!!

I've also dealt with a minimum of 2 attacks of the bitchiness between staff. That is the worst bit of it all. The rest, well, I just got on with it, but when its 'he said, she said' crap between people I need to keep sweet so that they dont walk out, thats MUCH MUCH harder. *tips hat to Graeme for not simply shooting the lot of us*

I now have to do my sodding housework...bleugh...maybe I'll leave it...and then do two lots tomoro!!!!!

Friends, feelings and other stuff!

Not sure on a title yet...........give me a minute!

Today has been a special day. Me and my boy are still in our jammies (its only 16:30) and have spent the whole day together. Always something that makes my day the best it could possibly be. But, on top of that, I got to read the responses on my TT. Its not often that I open myself up like that, and I can say, without a doubt, that I didnt do it lightly, or easily. There are people who read this blog that I'd rather not let into my head, because nothing they have done even slightly allows them the right to that, but as I am determinded to maintain a friendship with someone who played a pivotal part in my life, I have to accept that the people close to him will come here, and read it, and hope that it means that my life is falling apart in some way. Nevertheless, I took a risk, just because one person out there doesnt understand what goes on with me, doesnt mean that I should shut everyone else out of the more chaotic parts of my life. To have such thoughtful, and inspiring comments, which I read over my morning coffee (a time when I am definately not at my best) really made my day. If nothing else nice had happened today, I'd have still had a glow of contentment about myself.

But other nice things happened. Cuddles and snuggles on the sofa with my lil man. A phone call that set my pulse racing, and put a smile on my face. A visit from Amy and her lil girl...who was also still in her jammies, so an inpromptue jammie playdate! A postcard from one of my oldest friends, with a picture of her and my boy on it. A LIE-IN until 9:30!!! A glimse of what my life is becoming, as opposed to what it has always been. I hate to say it but I think I'm actually getting a life worth envying, rather than a life no-one wishes on their worst enemy.

And a random note, you will notice the lack of posting about Valentines. At the risk of offending millions of people, it is a highly over-rated holiday and something that I really find a little crass and over commerciallized. So therefore, thou I did bake on the day, cos that is a tradition I will keep, I gave chocolate brownies to Graeme, as I know he needs the chocolate more than anyone else in my life!!!!!!

Drunken Pwincess

Well, its true, I found the Vodka in my cupboard and accidently drank it.

I've decided that there is nothing worse than being drunk and alone. I have huge amounts of hyper-ness (or frisky-ness!!!) that could be shared, but tonight I'm on my own. Pretty much like every night, so you'd think I'd be somewhat used to it by now, but then, every now and then, it hits me. I may have the most beautiful son in the world, and a huge number of friends, but my true friends, the ones I will bare my soul in front of, they are few and far between, and not a single one of them is avalible right now.

Never mind, I guess I'll go to bed and read this in the morning and cringe!

I know...I'm a disappointment to my public!!!!!

Sorry, but I am in the strangest mood, and when you think that I haven't updated my blog in ages, I've had a lot of visits just lately.

I'm so sorry for ignoring all you people who sit on the edge of your seats, waiting with baited breath, for the next installment of my oh-so-exciting life. Honestly, I really wasn't thinking of the impact that my neglecting you could have, to the point where one of my visitors stayed AN HOUR...perhaps hoping that I would update. Alas, I did not, for ALL my Laurell K Hamilton books were returned to me last week, and I'm sorry, but they need re-reading!!!!!!!!!

I did want to start posting on things that were personal to me, things that were all deep and meaningful and stuff, but frankly, this particular blog is mainly for light entertainment, and stress and ranting obviously, but mainly its light and fluffy, and I don't really want to take that away, also, if I do feel a need to talk about my feelings, I'm gonna do it anonymously!!!!! That's the whole reason that I still keep a diary almost daily.

In other news, ummmmm, yeah, a WHOLE lot of nothing again. Between work and my addiction to reading, I haven't even switched the computer on this week apart from when I popped it on for Phil to use. I lead such a full and rewarding life don't I? I've even started drinking Horlicks!!!!!!

My life is just a lil bit interesting!

honest it is, it really is. I just spent 3 HOURS on my balcony, freezing my ass off talking about sex, drugs and rock and roll with my very straight but very sexy neighbour (lets see how long before the rumours hit my street!!!!LOL) It really was immense fun and I recommend it to anyone. I also got to see my lover in passing, who knows, maybe one day, soon I hope, he'll have an evening where he is allowed to carve out an hour or two for me. I live in hope eternal. And need to take out stocks in Duracell I reckon, I AM the reason they are still in business!!!!




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I walked in to work twice today. Both times I didnt stop long enough to hear about the woes of the staff. Even I was impressed with myself. Though I'm not doing so well as you think. I only left as quick as I did because....wait for it........I DONT CARE ANYMORE.





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I've spoken to about 90% of my friends today, for various reasons and various different levels of chaos in their lives. On the plus side, mine is going fine so thats actually kinda nice!!!!




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Thats about it I reckon. I was gonna talk about my feelings, as I do actually have them, despite the fact that I appear to merely have a black hole for a heart. But then I got thinking, I can bore you all to death with them tomorrow instead, cos right now, I'm too hyper to discuss D&M stuff!!!

Night all, I'm off to do a little stalking!!

D'OH, I FORGOT TO BLOG AGAIN!

But I have a REALLY good excuse or two...

Number one is work. It's gotten so very very bad that I can't even walk in there without feeling my blood start to boil slowly. It just gets me so worked up at the moment, because its the sort of place where we're expected to cope, regardless of what the Head Office, or the staff choose to throw at us. If I had an option, I'd resign tomorrow. But I don't. So, Graeme can now relax cos I aint going anywhere for at least the next couple of months!

Number two is Waterstones. It is a beautiful, beautiful shop. HOWEVER, they should never EVER EVER be allowed to do a 3 for the price of 2 deal on Tess Gerritsen. I have new books!!!

Number three is the HUNDINGER of a cold I have right now. I feel like s**t. Ah well, theres nothing I can do about it except grit my teeth and carry on while dreaming of sleeping!

Thats probably all of the good excuses I have, the others are simply laziness and lack of anything exciting going on!!!!!

Random musings, as I can't really be arsed to blog properly!

First off, a comment on the song. Its a song called 'Do It Anyway' by Martina McBride, and it's fast becomming my very own personal anthem! It is stunning!!!!

In other news...............




ummmm............




hang on a minute..................




there must be something...............

D'oh! Short of my son's eye appointment tomorrow, my lack of a babysitter for tomorrow night, my increasing frustration with my neighbours and other animals (such as Emma.......really been pushing my buttons today) and my lovely neighbour Amy, who has a thing for cat strap-ons, thats all I have to report!!!

Enjoy the song!!

My life is very dull!

Despite the title I do have a little bit of good news. I managed to go 14 1/2 hours before I absolutely had to have a cigarette. YAY ME! I do want to give up, but I'm not quite ready to, but still, I'm proud of myself (well, hell, someone has to be!)

Oh and I found this site called Widgetbox. It's actually quite fantastic. It's a place where you can find all the widgets for blogs in one place. It rocks!!

And, for anyone who wants to know, the MP3 on the post below, is POISON by GROOVE COVERAGE......and it is stunning!!!!! I spent most of the night rocking to it all by myself.