Some random for you, cos it's all I got!

Some random things...

Check out my blog roll. I have added a bunch of new (well new to me) and totally awesome blogs. I went to vote for Crystal at the Blogger Choice Awards (in the best humour catergory...go vote, now, the rest of my post can wait!) and have spent most of the day floating around the blog-o-sphere laughing my arse off, on my own, in an empty house. I am a crazy person.

Just a few moments ago, I walked into my lounge. To find my son...WEARING. MY. NEW. KNEE. HIGH. BOOTS. I shit you not. He was stood in front of the telly wearing these black boots with a 3.5 inch heel that came up to the tops of his thighs. It took a minute or two for me to work out what was going on, but once I did I did the only thing a caring and considerate mother could do...TOOK PICTURES ON MY PHONE AND MESSAGED THEM TO MY FRIENDS. I'm also heading to town for a Dongle (I love that word) just so I can transfer the aforementioned pic's onto the puta!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to feel really guilty that I let Graeme down for work tonight. But, to be fair, the stir fry ingredients, slice of chocolate cheesecake, bottle of wine and dyeing my hair that I have planned for tonight are preventing this. Lets be honest, a choice between wine and work? It's no choice at all!!!!!

I have a new phone. Same number, cos I'm too lazy to ring people with the new one (and I've only just learned this one!) but a pretty, pretty Nokia 6111 in pink. I have new technology!!!

I also have Animal Crossing for Nitendo DS. This is why I'm never online anymore. I have toys to play with...including this which is on its way! (******PLEASE NOTE: this link takes you to Ann Summers. If you are easily offended or a prude, just don't click it. If you do you can't say you weren't warned. I'm a nympho, I accept it, you should too!******)

I think thats it so far. But then, I haven't opened the wine yet, so there may be more posting later, perhaps with pic's of the new hair.

Friends, feelings and other stuff!

Not sure on a title yet...........give me a minute!

Today has been a special day. Me and my boy are still in our jammies (its only 16:30) and have spent the whole day together. Always something that makes my day the best it could possibly be. But, on top of that, I got to read the responses on my TT. Its not often that I open myself up like that, and I can say, without a doubt, that I didnt do it lightly, or easily. There are people who read this blog that I'd rather not let into my head, because nothing they have done even slightly allows them the right to that, but as I am determinded to maintain a friendship with someone who played a pivotal part in my life, I have to accept that the people close to him will come here, and read it, and hope that it means that my life is falling apart in some way. Nevertheless, I took a risk, just because one person out there doesnt understand what goes on with me, doesnt mean that I should shut everyone else out of the more chaotic parts of my life. To have such thoughtful, and inspiring comments, which I read over my morning coffee (a time when I am definately not at my best) really made my day. If nothing else nice had happened today, I'd have still had a glow of contentment about myself.

But other nice things happened. Cuddles and snuggles on the sofa with my lil man. A phone call that set my pulse racing, and put a smile on my face. A visit from Amy and her lil girl...who was also still in her jammies, so an inpromptue jammie playdate! A postcard from one of my oldest friends, with a picture of her and my boy on it. A LIE-IN until 9:30!!! A glimse of what my life is becoming, as opposed to what it has always been. I hate to say it but I think I'm actually getting a life worth envying, rather than a life no-one wishes on their worst enemy.

And a random note, you will notice the lack of posting about Valentines. At the risk of offending millions of people, it is a highly over-rated holiday and something that I really find a little crass and over commerciallized. So therefore, thou I did bake on the day, cos that is a tradition I will keep, I gave chocolate brownies to Graeme, as I know he needs the chocolate more than anyone else in my life!!!!!!

Pondering stuffs, as I occasionally do!

Well, I do.

Once, a person I counted as a true friend told me that when he was feeling all out of sorts he turned to his music. As he was a DJ and a little bit odd, I didn't really put much stock in it...much like I don't put much stock in the theory that if you believe in God and need an answer you just open your Bible and point at a verse. It's a theory that doesn't hold much water as it can be interpreted to fit each individual therefore lacks some sort of elegence to me.

However, feeling a lot out of sorts and very funky, I was cluching at straws and decided to give the music thing a try. I had tried meditation, cleaning, nesting, reading, you name it, all those things that normally allow me to compartmentalize my emotions and none of them had worked...so I turned to my music. And I have to say, after dressing up (for myself, how sad is that exactly) and donning my heels, I popped my headphones on and have spent the last hour exhasting myself headbanging, dancing and laughing. Perhaps there is something in this music thing. I was just bummed out that I couldn't sing too...it's far too late for that!!!

In other news...we must worship my little man. This morning, despite being short on sleep, he got up at 7am and was bathed, dressed and was sat eating his breakfast by 7:30am. I know I have it easy because there's only one of him, but you have to admit that is quite impressive!!!!!

I then went into town under the misguided assumption that I actually had money in the bank. This was a cruel lie that the cashpoint told me last night BEFORE the Direct Debits came out. So, I get into town with a £5 note and nothing else. This really made me feel awful. For one thing, I had my heart set on the new Karin Slaughter novel, which was in the bookstore this morning...and had a £4 off sticker on it, so they wouldn't put it to one side for me. But never fear...tomorrow morning I SHALL BE ON THEIR DOORSTEP WHEN THEY OPEN...THAT BOOK WILL BE MINE!

Despite the downer I was on, I went and bought some milk, a paper and some crossiants, and then realized I had just enough to afford a take-away coffee from the new coffee house in town. Their coffee is DIVINE. I went in on Sunday with Emily for a quick coffee and had a giant mocha, with just the right amount of chocolate and REAL WHIPPED CREAM. I could actually feel my ass getting bigger with every mouthful, but it was worth it, so very worth it. I'm just glad we both managed to resist the beautiful 'double chunk chocolate fugde' cake...though not for long, even now, far, far away from it and in the middle of the night, I can hear it calling my name. Seductive and gentle, this tiny whisper saying 'eat me, you know you want to' **NOTE: This is a representation of what THE CAKE is saying...just for all you perverts out there** So, anyway, my point, because I was making one, was that I went and bought this beautiful latte and went and sat and read my paper and drank my coffee. For once, I used the last of my money to treat myself to something that I didn't need but I did want.

I think thats about it for now...I wasn't really intending to ramble on this much, it's so unlike me!

I don't like Mondays very much

Thou, to be fair the title has so little to do with this post!

I don't have much to report...things between me and Phil are strained, things between me and mum are strained, things between me and some of my friends are strained.....dontcha just love Christmas!!!!

As far as Christmas goes, all I've done so far is put the tree up. I can't be bothered with much else, it seems that every Christmas for the last 6 years has been kinda crappy, so I'm only bothering for the boy this year. I even have to go and pick out and pay for my own present from him, and then get his father to take him to pick it up, cos Phil wont even pay for his son to buy me a present, but its ok, cos it will be my first ever present from Edward. How sad is that.

If I had my way, there would be no tree, no presents, no anything. I'd spend the day on my own, with no phone calls or other things. But I'm not allowed to do that because of the boy, but I can honestly say that I'm not looking forward to it even a little bit. It seems my life has beaten my love of Christmas out of me.

Thou, on a more positive note, I sat and watched part one of the first ever Terry Pratchett to be televised.......Sky One have done an adaptation of 'HOGFATHER' and it is FANTASTIC. I can't wait for the other half, thats on tonight. My phones going off, my door is gonna be locked, and I may be drinking wine. The only reason I've avoided the bottle of wine thats been in my house for the last 10 days is because I don't like drinking when I'm lonely, strikes me as drinking to numb the pain, which I wont do.

And thats it. I still have to go and do mums, and then try to get a handle on some of my own stuff. Then I get the spend a lot of the next 2 weeks with the boy, cos its the last day of school today!